Exhausted by overthinking about your relationships?

Try Eden for free now, stop overthinking

The  Attached   Blog

Here Are the Best Books to Read If You Want to Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style

January 18, 2025

These books offer powerful insights into why you feel the way you do and how to heal. The ultimate reading list to transform your relationships and yourself.

We’ve curated a list of the best books to help you understand and heal your anxious attachment style.

1. Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You  Find--and Keep--Love

Why it’s great: This book is the ultimate beginner's guide to understanding attachment theory. It breaks down the different attachment styles—secure, anxious, and avoidant—and helps you recognize your patterns.
What you’ll learn:

  • How your attachment style influences your relationships.
  • Practical tips to communicate your needs and build healthier connections.
  • Tools to identify compatible partners.

2. The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

[Bessel Van der Kolk M.D.]-The Body Keeps The Score- Brain, Mind, and Body  in The Healing of Trauma (SoftCover): Amazon.com: Books

Why it’s great: This book explores how trauma, including attachment wounds, impacts the body and mind. Dr. van der Kolk offers tools for healing and creating safety within yourself.
What you’ll learn:

  • How early attachment shapes your nervous system.
  • Why anxious attachment triggers feel so overwhelming.
  • Techniques like mindfulness, movement, and therapy to heal from the inside out.

3. Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection by Deb Dana

Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection: 50 Client-Centered Practices  (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)

Why it’s great: This book dives into the nervous system and how it drives attachment behaviors. It’s a hands-on guide to calming your body and feeling safe in relationships.
What you’ll learn:

  • How the vagus nerve impacts attachment and anxiety.
  • Exercises to regulate your emotions and reduce fight-or-flight responses.
  • Ways to feel grounded and connected in relationships.

4. You're the One You've Been Waiting For by Dr. Richard Schwartz

You Are the One You've Been Waiting For

Why it’s great: Written by the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), this book focuses on healing the parts of yourself that crave love and connection. It’s perfect for understanding how to create a secure relationship with yourself.
What you’ll learn:

  • How attachment wounds create inner conflicts that affect relationships.
  • Ways to nurture your inner self and calm emotional triggers.
  • Practical exercises to integrate your past experiences and grow emotionally.

5. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (The Dr. Sue  Johnson Collection, 1)

Why it’s great: Based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this book teaches you how to create secure, lasting bonds with your partner.
What you’ll learn:

  • How attachment influences intimacy and communication.
  • Strategies to resolve conflicts and build trust.
  • Ways to create emotional safety in your relationship.

6. How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self [Book]

Why it’s great: Written by the popular Holistic Psychologist, this book offers a practical, empowering approach to healing attachment wounds and creating the life you deserve.
What you’ll learn:

  • How childhood experiences shape your attachment style.
  • Steps to break free from unhealthy patterns.
  • Daily practices to build emotional resilience and self-love.

7.  Insecure in Love by Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D.

Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy,  and Worried and What You Can Do About It

Why it’s great: This book is tailored specifically for people with anxious attachment, offering actionable advice to feel more secure in relationships.
What you’ll learn:

  • Why anxious attachment develops and how it affects your relationships.
  • How to reduce your need for reassurance and manage your emotions.
  • Ways to build self-worth and attract healthier relationships.

8. Wired for Love by Dr. Stan Tatkin

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style  Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship: Tatkin PsyD  MFT, Stan, Hendrix PhD, Harville: 9781608820580: Amazon.com: Books

Why it’s great: This book focuses on the science of secure relationships and offers practical advice for creating connection and trust.
What you’ll learn:

  • How attachment styles play out in long-term relationships.
  • Tips to communicate and resolve conflict effectively.
  • Ways to create a partnership that feels safe and secure.

9. It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle [Book]

Why it’s great: This book explores how attachment and trauma can be passed down through generations, and how to break the cycle.
What you’ll learn:

  • The impact of generational trauma on attachment styles.
  • Techniques to heal inherited patterns.
  • How to create a healthier emotional legacy for yourself and your family.

How to Heal After Reading

Reading helps you understand your patterns, but true healing happens through action.

In order to actually heal, we need our brains to adapt.

Neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to rewire itself, requires consistent practice to form new habits and pathways.

Without doing—whether it's journaling, self-soothing, or setting boundaries—you stay stuck in knowledge without transformation.

Here's how the Eden app can help you

Eden App, Best to Complement Your Journey

The Eden app makes fixing your anxious attachment easier by being the No.1 AI-powered all-in-one app:

  • Daily Quests: Unlock daily quests designed to help anxious attachment and fosters neuroplasticity
  • Help Mode: Access psychology-backed tools for self-soothing when you feel triggered.
  • Intelligent AI Journal: Unlock your hidden patterns and get personalized suggestions as you journal
  • Weekly Insights: Eden intelligently analyzes your journals and voice sessions to help break down patterns and insights

Ready to take the next step? Pick one of these books, and try the Eden app now. You deserve love, security, and peace.

What people like you are saying



As a person who stumbled onto Eden, I didn't know what to expect. I worked with other apps, for meditation, journaling as well as having motivational quotes every day but nothing like Eden which put these features all into one easy to use app.
Eden is by far, one of the best apps making use of the advances in AI to make a customized approach to attending to ones emotional and mental needs. I'm glad I got to stumble upon Eden, and I'm sure anyone who reads will too.


Betoc

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Eden has been an incredibly valuable tool for me, not just for relationships, but for my overall well-being. [It's] led to a shift in my perspective towards a more realistic and optimistic outlook on life. The personalized meditations have helped me navigate moments of anxiety, and knowing there is an active community makes me feel less alone. Eden has been a very worthwhile investment for me. I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking to improve their mental health and relationships.

Lisa

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is the best app I have ever seen in my life I clicked thinking it was a scam or [something] you have to pay for a huge amount of money [...] it's so so so so so worth it, I've tried a lot of therapists and this is equal to the best therapist I'm seeing right now And plus it's just in your pocket, I swear to god I didn't expect this!

B7e

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

It’s helped me process a lot of my emotions in a healthy manner. I’d say I’m in the best state of my life and it’s helped me identify a lot of key points. The AI is sincerely useful but more than that, the people are honest

Nile

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I normally pay for a very expensive therapist. I was triggered and then spent the past hour talking to Eden. I was able to go deep. It’s an on demand therapist that would usually cost hundred of dollars an hour. Wow!

J

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I've really enjoyed using this app. It has been the most helpful therapy app of the few I've tried. The team behind it is always improving the experience and seems to really care about the program. It has been a great additional tool to use alongside my other traditional therapies

Craig

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Eden has been incredibly helpful in addressing my avoidant tendencies in my relationship. The app provides insightful guidance and practical advice that has made a real difference in how I navigate emotional challenges. Highly recommend it for anyone looking to improve their relationship dynamics.

Adrian

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is a wonderful app, supported by a wonderful community. I'd highly recommend checking them out.

Phoenix

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Eden has been monumental in helping me understand why I have my behaviors. I love seeing my progress and I use the ‘Help’ mode to feel better daily. It’s SO helpful for my anxious attachment.

Zedd

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

After years of painful anxious attachment, Eden provided a clear path forward to heal. I use the app daily, and feel the benefits from the mindfulness that Eden has armed me with. I’m calmer, more relaxed and present than ever!

Gabriel

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Eden made me realize that I not only feel anxious in my relationships, but also with family. I love the patterns feature in the journaling!

Ethan

Ready to feel less anxious and regain yourself?

Get Your Action Plan Now
No credit card required

Eden by The Consciousness Lab, Inc.
© 2025 The Consciousness Lab, Inc.